Notice the Demand

August 31st, 2019

I was born into a culture and a world that held sacred the concept of an external absolute rule perceived as right, true or correct.  Even as a child I valued structure, scheduling or habits of life but was very frustrated that I had to settle for learning the correct way to be in life.  Yes, an oxymoron and that fact made me, at a very young age, doubt the concept of external absolute.  At 6 a personal experience lead me to think it was a local issue; at 10 I had moved to another state and was saddened when I discovered it was not local.  For the next several years I struggled with visions, external sounds or voices and emotional balance.  My family thought it was my impatience or teen hormones.  I was happy that they had a story that worked for them but I didn’t learn until 14 that I could make external assignments.  Practice with making assignments quickly lead to deleting assignments irrelevant to whom or what activated them.

I have known people that all their life have had noises in their head, heard voices, had visions or simply saw something moving out of the corner or their eye.  I’m not attempting to say overcoming this is a simple task or that I have any special talent—or that they need to.  I had an experience at 18 with directing my attention away from a source of real noise and noticing that the sound reduced.  I’m sure a lot of you have noticed that; like talking to a friend in a noisy restaurant.  In my experience I had a counter-force pressing from the opposite direction of the noise.  I played with moving attention and intensity back and forth for a time; then simply moved my attention to the center point, to me, and all stimuli subsided.   

The Universe is made of some stuff and a lot of space.  The stuff includes all objects, rules, unshakeable ideas and most belief systems (i.e., I believe I am).  The space is energy and light; the force of creation and having a relationship with these two elements is what I perceive as enlightenment.  Not a big deal today because many authors and teachers have proclaimed us post-enlightened.  When I look back over the last fifty-five years this was a big deal for me personally and has taught me to better balance habits and creation.

Setting an alarm clock is an external assignment.  When it goes off in the morning I’m not always immediately cognizant of why I set it but I’m awake.  And if I don’t turn it off it will ring for a time, reset and do it again every morning until I do shut it off.  We have all had this experience, right?  At some point post-conception at least two people started to make assignments for most of you.  I assume there was a conversation about name, a family vision within a culture, a potential future and lots of other stuff.  You grew up listening to that “alarm” that I term a demand and probably added numerous elements to the evolving story of you.   Evolution is an assignment that demands change and even a recluse has a difficult time squelching that alarm.  Meditation provides an opportunity to distance the demand and notice the space and this may take a little practice.  Can you find a moment from the demand to create something in the space?


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