New Release by Deborah

September 6th, 2020

“Hemispherica Portalis” is the debut collaboration album from the collective imagination of Deborah Martin and Dean De Benedictis. Performing under the moniker “Desensitized,” these two veteran ambient electronic sound explorers have joined forces to craft a thought-provoking work of art that combines ancient and futuristic moods into a captivating world of sound, filling the imagination with illusory images of undiscovered realms.

The abstract and alluring music that unfolds across the album’s seven tracks is in many ways just what one would expect when De Benedictis & Martin’s recognizable yet disparate styles are focused into a singular expression. “Hemispherica Portalis” acts as a jumping-off point for the duo’s “Desensitized” deep dive into a new form of texture-based sonic exploration – one that merges vintage space-music tendencies with a modern electronic ambient style. Roiling in slow motion, Deborah’s signature sounds and digital synth expressions expand and contract as the occasional acoustic flourish or melodic moment briefly bubbles to the surface. Added to that are the nuanced layers of Dean’s remarkable laptop-based sound-sculpting approach and the resulting array of textural, experimental, and at times gritty elements that he expertly swirls into the mix. This blending of the two artist’s distinct sonic palettes and differing styles paints an appealing and cohesive soundscape that is lush, refreshing, and truly special.

“I knew the drastic contrast between our two approaches would likely yield something new,” explains Dean. “Deborah has a majestic and pristine melodic style, while I bring a textural and sometimes edgy experimental approach, using sounds I often create on the spot. I find the combination of our layers and approaches uniquely lush and personally refreshing.”

Deborah elaborates, “Dean’s years of sound sculpting expertise paid off in ways I can never fully explain; as soon as I began playing the melodic basic song structures, he was immediately adding textures and nuances that glued the passages into place. The creative result is a breathtaking display of original sound samplings, live recorded textural beds, and electronic elements melding into a profound ambient electronic revelation.”

Together as “Desensitized,” Deborah Martin & Dean De Benedictis summon a unique and expansive sound that is vivid, alive, colorful, and surreal, as the subtle dreamscapes of “Hemispherica Portalis” offer a sublime retreat into sonic beauty, where past and future echoes mingle, collide, and fuse into dreams, deeply alien…yet somehow familiar.

To sample tracks or purchase click here.

If you would like a signed copy by artist Deborah Martin you can order direct from her from the site.  Click the PayPal link on the right side bar.  The cost plus shipping is $20 per CD and make sure to includes you name and present mailing address at the PayPal sight.

Decide Please

September 2nd, 2020

When presented with a menu of choices we humans like to break it down to two selections and then pick one of the two.  Lots of theories out there as to why we do this but this action is well documented.  I think with our culture steeped in dichotomies for such a long epoch we naturally engaged those types of patterns (good/bad; right/wrong; etc.) and it does activate inductive reasoning (intuition).  We have this resource that is always running and will automatically make a “choice” between limited courses of action based on past experience.  No thinking, no need to do a conscious search for data and it burns no calories.  Literally a free service and it works great—with some exceptions.  If your history in life has been unpleasant, abusive or repulsive then those options will fill your intuition database.  Not an easy process to override.  And, of course, all bets are off during a cultural change.  What worked in the past is now ineffectual.  I’m sure I addressed this issue in previous blogs but this becomes paramount during our present mandate.

This process is referred to as an “A/B comparison” and we should take a look at the logical struggle that it places us in.  With only two options to choose from, in our present “no-truth meme”, it is a set-up to be 50% wrong and 50% right on average.  No truth means no external support for either alternative—can you trust a Google search?  And, if you’re not personally comfortable with decision- making, you will hold and present two options to everyone around you as a “demand” to entertain the duo and make the decision.  None of this is intentional but it does sway you emotionally.  Most of us, in our present personal growth, are looking at what influences us, what we wish to support and what to abandon.  Do you see how this is forcing folks to polarize?  The cultural offer is no longer about being right but to share your opinions, not defend them, with others in your life.  Input with these relationships will enrich and inform you towards a positive decision.  It is no longer judged as right or wrong but it could be the influence you need at this moment in time.  The clue here is if someone states “I’m doing this for me” they are talking through the mask of intuition.  “Me” is a familiar from the past and not necessarily a potential for your future. 

The future is always unknown.  Perhaps imagined, a potential or just a direction—a starting point on a journey.  In the logical system the end of a “line” is a point.  For us humans the end is death.  Get the point?  Growth is finding a new line from the end point of the last flowing into a different direction.  Becoming is to be done with the old line and point and begin anew.  A wise step to help integrate this is to always have more than three options available before you initiate decision-making.  Spending a little time with each potential will override the short-cut offered by intuition.  A well-formed decision puts you in motion; a correct decision is only a point. 


Been There, Done That

August 1st, 2020

According to author Alison Weir, King Henry VIII was said to be terrified of the Sweat and he demanded to be moved around England in a bid to escape the spread of the disease.  English sweating sickness, also known as the Sweats, was a mysterious and contagious disease that struck England and later continental Europe in a series of epidemics with the beginning of the reign of Henry VII, in 1485.  The last outbreak occurred in 1551, after which the disease apparently vanished.  The onset of symptoms was sudden, with death often occurring within hours.  Its cause remains unknown, although it has been suggested that an unknown species of hantavirus or anthrax might have been responsible.  What I find interesting is the protocol to deal with the disease was wearing masks, social distancing and total lock-down—homes and businesses.  We have come a long way since 1485.

I’m not a medical doctor, researcher or an advocate for any views or actions with epidemics or whatever they are labeling that which is presently taking lives.  I’m also not a historian but I do know that this process is not unusual in the chronicle of humankind.  My background is in developmental psychology and my present interest is in assisting folks to distinguish between their personal developmental change and that of their cultural change, or what Robert Kegan called the evolutionary mandate.  In personal growth we pursue a vision that holds value for us.  Yes, the vision does change and so does the path but our story that we generate supports this process.  In evolutionary change the very nature of value changes and most of us mystically change our story and vision to adapt; but it is not congruent with the original tale. This comes at a cost to us, often not conscious but real.  I get that our government, or its authorized privately funded organizations, are attempting to reduce the perception of threat.  Is that working for you?  When our story breaks down we breakdown.  Henry VIII could shuffle and not defend that maneuver but in the information age we need to defend.  Enough said or I could be censored.   

At one time I did teach karate and a hard concept to sell to students was to defend from the center of a room and not along a wall or in a corner.  It may feel safer not needing to watch your back but movement is what is important in any form of decision-making.  I have been on this planet for over three-quarters of a century and the markers I recognize as the evolutionary mandate are an increase in homelessness and intense polarization.  Have you noticed the homeless population?  Is there any question about the intense level of polarization?  The popular ethic today is profit, truth is a well supported bias and integrity is not a performance but a marketing campaign.  Government or powerful folks have attempted to produce some form of balance in the past and have now apparently surrendered that effort to control via deception.  The tools of the evolutionary mandate are plagues and war.  Disease and poverty did its job to manage population but progress, financial and medical have offset that balance.  I have no solution to offer and I pray that our youth will be innovated.  Will they discover that innovation in a field of fear and deception?  How may I be of service?


New direction

July 1st, 2020

If you have been following this present stream of blogs; our universe and everything in it including all form, space, language and probably your thoughts along with a few sources of energy to sustain the package is part of a system I refer to as the “logical system.”  That is everything you know or know about including the concept of “knowing.”  Occasionally we humans get a glimmer of inspiration, a novel idea, a vision or any type of phenomena imaginable.  A taste of something that you do now know or know about.  An imagined possibility that is uncertain, but perhaps has some hint of probable, is from the realm of the “creation system.”  This arrangement provides nothing but the potential and the energy to create anything imaginable and, in fact, created the logical system.  The trick is to direct this prospect into the logical system where it can be defined in form; “be real” for our human experience.  I’ll bet you have had some luck with this or have friends with moments of success.  These innovations are usually referred to as art or luck.  The question is, we big brain animals learn so why have we not mastered this process after all these years?

By now you know the answer; evolution keeps changing the logical system.  It was a neat trick “in the beginning” with the grid to provide an assortment of potentials as independent and separate with the total equaling the same all potential that the creation system holds sacred.  But even these small chunks of all potential were too large a bite for our human game so we divided it again into dimensions.  We slowed down the moment now into “time” increments and who knows what we shoved into the other dimensions.  It may have worked or be working but no one person seems to be conscious of the progress and with every division we lose sight of the meaning (what are we doing this for) and have to search out new meaning or value in each epoch.  The initial act of creating our human game from the creation system’s potential was to divide and that process may never halt.

We have tried everything we could think of (logical system) and played with transcendence (creation system) with no apparent change in course.  We did discover the bridges between the systems from our work with transcendence and that is an important asset.  Habit or redundancy has helped keep us safe but stuck in a perpetual cycle of life and death.  We traditionally process life as stories but I suggest we master life as patterns.  Our entire logical system, the whole universe, is patterns producing structure.  I don’t recall what we all did to get this far but I can imagine that if we discover and follow the pattern into the unknown we will carry life into unfamiliar territory.  I think it would be fun for a change to be one step ahead of evolution instead of being pushed (usually run-over) by it.  This project may take more time than what I have left in this game but has the potential to produce a legacy, totally unknown and by design secured by patterns that we can feel and not stories we made up and need to defend.  We humans have changed the game a lot in the past four thousand years but have also left a trail of waste and toxins from this trial and error process.  Everything that has stood the test of time has been secured into patterns (structure).  We have tried change and now I recommend the act of becoming.  Find or create that new pattern for being.


The Bridges

June 9th, 2020

When a human experiences an event their observation is that of a witness but they usually report and process (secure as true) the event as first person incident.  If the event reported is all about them and all other participants are excluded they suffer from narcissism, a form of mental illness.  If they are not personally included in their report they have a disassociation and the meta-pattern is called “other” or “selfless.”  Such folks are often not acknowledged for their work or accomplishments.  Literally, your story creates the concept of you as a self.  Your body is part of structure and may be supported by other formations (sun, air, food, water) but the story you report is a creation from energy as imagination.  We are birthed into form by the energy of creation and quickly adapt to the sub-system of logic that holds the patterns for all configurations. 

However, all structure is subject to entropy, the force of the creative system to reduce everything to a neutral balance.  To be both imagined and have form we need to be in attendance to both systems.  The creative system is nothing but energy with no form, time or dimensions.  It may imagine all potential with infinite range and all notions in relationship to the whole of creation in perfect balance.  But it produces no form or output because it equally produces the lack of all potential.  The good news, a concept by Plato, is that a potential for creation is to divide total potential into grids and thus create the logical system where we inherit our form.  The bridges or gateways to the creative system are Balance, Range and Relationship.

The logical system is an opportunity for energy to move and experience bias, although by design always short-lived and dividing into more parts—entropy and evolution.  All structure is in movement along paths or patterns through several dimensions.  At the cosmic speed limit (speed of light) there would be no encounter with movement or time.  The bias (concept of self) allows us to make decisions, attend to whatever “we” choose and to make inquires to improve the decision making.  The bridges or gateways to the logical system are Decisions, Attention and Questions.

For an example say we attended to time or stomach and perceived food was in order.  You could decide what you preferred but you might have to question if it was available and where.  You could up the game by a query as to what food would produce better balance in your body and life.  Or you could expand your range of dietary preference and seek out a novel food.  Such action might just improve your relationship with food, self and friends.  Bridges add imagination to the encounter and energy.  The counter-process may be more familiar.  Say you get an inspiration.  You need to attend to it for details and ask questions before you decide to launch the new idea.  Your inspiration will have to work in form, especially remembering that time is a dimension.


Two Systems

May 23rd, 2020

I can imagine some of the craziest things.  Ideas that would never work or fit into our world.  That loosely places me in a group of folks like fiction writers (science fiction, mystery, fantasy and near impossible action tales).  Are we not all story tellers spinning a web deemed our lives?  The potential for story plots is huge and that is the nature of the creative process.  I believe we humans are active in two systems.  The creative system produces no-things but supports the potential to imagine anything.  The logical system produces this very structured universe that we inhabit.  I know the universe looks huge from where we sit on a small planet somewhere at the edge of a flat galaxy but science tells us that 70 to 80 percent of what we are looking at is “dark matter or dark energy” that we can’t see into.  Our universe formed, perhaps, around this dark stuff and whatever else is out there that we lack the ability to perceive.  In fact we only have the ability to entertain stuff within a range defined by a scientist named Plank.

I like super-string theory with its eleven dimensions of which our conscious world exists in four.  Our energy source is in another dimension and made up of vibrating “strings” each of which may be tuned to create the various particles found in our universe.  That is a cool idea and these unbelievably small strings sit at the bottom of Plank’s range.  A constant in our universe is the cosmic speed limit discovered by Maxwell.  Think of this as if we had been moving too slow with a hope of catching up sometime.  At the cosmic speed limit, or speed of light, time is non-existent.  Our concept of time is really a report on how late we are for “now” but we can never go faster to catch up.  Scientists may be just as crazy as I am but in our universe their math is predictable, consistent and reliable—but only within these limits discovered by Plank and Maxwell.

The essence of humanity managed to emerge from the creative system with the vision of unlimited potential and land in this logical system that is bound in by endless rules and structure.  What a fun game! The good news is the logical system has to be a product of the creative system and thus there is always a creative way to influence the logical system.  This influence from all potential is eternally forcing the logical system to evolve into more pieces to supply the demand for more potential outcomes.  This is what we refer to as the evolutionary mandate.  A person steeped in the creative process is a dreamer; lots of ideas but no successful accomplishments.  Life in the logical world would be based on habitual living and conforming to the limits present now.  In a joint venture we might find creative folks that can imagine ways to create stuff and new boundaries within a structure.  The nature of such an integration would require bridges to weave the imagined into the known.  I know of a few bridges and next blog we will explore those avenues.  For now just notice your balance in the two systems.


Home for Now

April 5th, 2020

Are we having fun yet?  I’m retired and I have lots of work at home to finish; I’m good.  Friends, family and neighbors that are low on essentials contact us and we share or seek products for them.  Because of my age I’m considered high at risk but I’m willing to help and will do so.  If my students have learned anything from me over the years; life is about movement, balance and relationships.  You would not have to be an amazing clairvoyant to have perceived a hint of this present event coming and that is why I created a webinar a few years back for “surviving the cultural change” that we nicknamed the “Happy Webinar.”  Of course I followed that up with another webinar on Wellness.  Are you guys starting to see a pattern here?  Oh, my present seminar offer is on patterns and becoming.  It is fair to say that there is apparently a consequence to living life unconscious and totally at reaction to emotions.  That is a learned reaction to the flow of energy and not attention to the task details to generate a decision.  Safe to say the system (what the “old folks” called God-modern meme change) is intent on purging the older population that perhaps created the problem to give notice to the rest.  Now I sound like a prophet of doom but we all know life ends at some point.  OK, I’m guilty, but I have worked to support change and now the concept of “becoming”—a change from creation and not effort.  New games are fun.

From the logical (scientific) view of our universe I like Superstring Theory and Brian Greene does a great job of explaining the theory for the average reader (The Elegant Universe).  The idea that the energy that drives (creates) the universe is in another dimension makes great sense (because I don’t see the source).  And of course all the stuff of the universe has location that is only probable.  So our universe is in movement seeking balance through the probability of ever-changing relationships with all the stuff that we witness and that which we can only measure.  None of these facts prove my story but I feel better that the two stories sound similar.  Remember, in the Modern Meme, truth is just a probability.  Cool!

I read on-line that India’s plan for the virus is to have everyone in the country light a candle each night.  A plan that may not hold high probability for most countries but bless their plan and I pray it serves them well.  The plan my wife and I have developed is to continue to eat good food, get more rest, daily exercise, walk each day and be of service to others in need (within the limits of the RULES).  In addition I’m busy developing new seminars and webinars for the post-virus world.  The idea, if true, that the virus may be a byproduct from people in reaction to our “toxic” world indicates that we all should develop an offering to do more to resolve this issue.  My wife thanks everyone she sees out there working for their service and I advise everyone I counsel to be careful and wise but not fearful.  Keep in mind, that there is no logic or appropriate language on the phenomenal view of life but most of us have had personal experience with phenomena; it is also probable.  Search your meditation space, look for clues and if you wish, light a candle.


Dr. Barbara Cox and I have put together an on-line chat platform so us “locked down” folks can share positive steps and outcomes with others on Zoom/US.  If you would like to be invited (new rules from Zoom) please email me:

Everything Changes

March 8th, 2020

It is hard to imagine, but the general consensus is that humanity for its entire history up to the 18th Century, believed that no action they personally took could generate a real modification in the condition of their lives.  The advent of existential philosophy in the 18th Century, Kierkegaard, Sartre, Nietzsche, etc., grew and matured into modern philosophy by 1950 (modernity or modern meme).  Many new concepts blossomed at that time.  For example, I give credit for “new thought” to Meville Goddard (change your mind, change your life) but later in his life he realized that it takes more than just a wish to change.  Change is not in the path you are walking now; that yields what you have now with no room for transformation.  Change is very tricky and humans are not statistically successful enacting a substitute action.  We see some folks modify habits but it is impressive and rare when a person completely upgrades their life.  I label that level of alteration “becoming”, to literally becoming a noticeably different personality.  I know what drives that is an amendment in life pattern but that has been difficult to instruct as a technique.    

I took a year off my retired teaching and reviewed my background and skill with patterns, code, path, archetype, blueprint, etc.  In my life I personally gained my insights by asking questions and exploring ideas that led to what I called discovery.  But when I started facilitating seminars I taught the material as answers (the end) and knowledge (the past); “becoming” is always an exploration in unknown territory.  To experience this process we need to formulate questions and learn to trust.  I put together these new curriculum for questions, patterns and “becoming.”

My vision of a path or pattern is similar to movement along a power strip that keeps your battery charged; off the strip your battery starts to weaken.  Distractions or influences may divert us off course.  Metaphorically, we have a similar outcome with computer software.  It gets corrupted and we fix it by deleting the original download, reloading it anew or acquiring new software.

I’m not certain what the goal of life is and if this level of work needs to be done but I want to do something.  We humans perform a lot of different activities and we care but usually it feels like not enough or not the right time.  All of this investment is not producing a benefit in the world today.  Now is the moment to try something new!  We know our Universe has been in play and expanding for over 14.6 million light years with a backdrop that provides light clues over 46 million light years old.  This initiates a lot of questions that start with why or how.  Looking to the past serves us in normal time as a safe choice—what worked well.  But in times of great change this intuitive piece fails to offer wise guidance.  In times of evolutionary change (demand) we need to embrace the unknown and be at risk—at risk is the nature of growth.


New Seminar

March 5th, 2020

A concept that appears difficult for students to comprehend is “becoming.”  If you think in terms of my last few blogs, a space once assigned a symbol must become that which is represented by the symbol.  Assignment is usually treated as language but you can see that its scope is much larger.  Language is a name (word, sounds, character or vibration) that marks a symbol.  With language we create the concept of time and the symbols with all potential become a pattern over time (think sundial).  To become is an act of creation or the energy of creation but to discover may just be luck or logical steps which derive from the process played out as life.  I believe that the creative act of dividing the scope of creation by a grid creates logic and in turn language.  Life is a system detailed by humans as stories and creation is an experience without language or logic.  Such a fun puzzle. 

Perhaps too many details above but a larger view is sometimes helpful.  There are two different systems from our view as functioning from within the second system but the first system created both.  Language, logic and form are expressions of our system related in human drama, relationships, plans, concepts and stories.  Living within this subsystem, none of our cognitive skills, except perhaps poetry and art, allow us to examine or discuss the primary system of creation.  Take my example above of a sundial and notice that the shadow from the marker will appear to change by a distance assigned as one hour between 5 and 6 PM.  But any sundial created will have the potential to mark all daylight time when the Sun is visible.  The sundial therefore does not change but our view of it is limited by our concept of time.  At 6 PM the sundial becomes “the 6 o’clock time reference.”  Yes, the Earth spins but the sundial never changes.  Because of our human limitation a person would need to observe the sundial for the entire light of day to view its potential.  To realize this potential the sundial must maintain a relationship with both the spin of the Earth and the presence of the Sun.  We need a lifetime to reveal our potential and relationships to secure it.

If you are reading this blog you are very likely more interested in change than philosophy.  Innovation (imagination, creation) could turn the pole in the sundial vision to a lamp post, a maypole, fence post or a surveyor’s stake.  Any change would require a similar change in relationship to support it.  A human can generate a change in vision but doesn’t have the range to implement all the changes needed to secure the process.  In theory, just the change in vision should be enough if we were operating from the primary system of creation.  From our subsystem, we just change the story.  We have all heard the rare tales of someone that pulled such an alteration off and secured it.  My guess is they commandeered energy support from a large group of folks.  They may not have known them but the vision change collected them.  I have learned to monitor the pattern (the change in the shadow) and see it as art.  I “see” the pattern and “paint” in areas to comply with what is needed to realize the change.  I make an assignment to an empty space (any space) and request a sample of what the pattern should look like to monitor the change.  If I can stay conscious with the process, only a little “painting” is needed to focus the required vision.  In truth, it is more like feeling the pattern and adjusting by a felt nudge here and there.  With the pattern developing in an appropriate manner, the rest is just becoming the new vision.  No tasks to do but trust and a feeling of some level of certainty help keep the energy flow high.  In other words, enthusiasm and excitement support energy flow whereas depression and feelings of failure impede it.  This process of “becoming” always unfolds in a trail of clues so you need to pay attention and be aware.  Not a logical process, not normal, not predictable and very easy to over-think or overreact.  Not something new to learn but something old to remember.    


New seminar content on patterns and “becoming” scheduled:

Kansas City, Kansas—May 2 & 3

Huntington Beach, California—June 20 & 21

Portland, Southern California and Denver pending

To book or information contact

A Path to a Goal

February 5th, 2020

Before we step deeper into “becoming” I should define my ontology.  We are a product of creation, a state of all potential, but we observe it and converse about it as an onlooker.  From our logical system (mathematics) all possible would most probably generate non-deterministic chaos—no-things would be produced in the creative system.  However, assignment is a potential that introduces logic, language and limitation; the potentials for our sub-system.  Logic is the grid, language labels the symbols in the grid, and limitation exists because each space is a part of all that is possible.  Our life system, all humans and environment, are projected in a moment as now (time is introduced) along a potential pattern for each symbol and moment of time.  The concept of language provides a window as past and future for framing ranges but not as paths.  The energy from creation “shines” through the symbol and is then reflected back, creating both ascending and descending streams; a feedback that provides information about location and path guidance at every moment in time.  I know this short version is way oversimplified, but we have a game and all the limiting factors may open the possibility for deterministic chaos—all paths lead to the same goal.  

Because of the introduction of logic and limitation, the symbol will produce all versions of potential within the scope of the limitation of the symbol as patterns or structures.  Think car navigation; we select a location and the device logs a route given selected parameters and will recommend adjustments for incorrect moves.  The parameters limit the frame of potential but many routes may lead to the same goal.  We can make a choice, change parameters or change our destination.  A good quality device may consider traffic patterns and construction detours, but not likely back-seat-drivers or well meaning friends.  

Sundials, compasses and car navigation devices are pretty simple straight forward tools when the path is orderly and not obstructed.  Test out a compass in underbrush in a mountainous area and you quickly learn how difficult following a course may be.  Life paths can get very complex and obstructed.  We may think that we need to know something, the correct thing or just know more but  knowing is part of our logical system (parts of the whole).  In the creative system we would need to imagine it differently but that is already set up and mapped.  The secret is that the map from creation is not for a location but a different state of being.  The guidance is for “becoming”; a state not yet established but to be created in our system.  You move along your course looking for what I call “clues”; an indirect communication, a hint or just an abstract offer, and all of this with no logic so you will need to pay attention and act.  This requires movement, balance and relationships (I will explain more on this in the next blog) to navigate.  We just need a goal for all humans to set our sights—right now it is death.  Perhaps a little work ahead so we need to get creative.