The art of change

May 1st, 2019

 A demand might express some urgency, but it always asserts authority.  Difficult to say no to a demand from someone or something.  A request is a friendlier social structure that acknowledges your options.  The person or thing making the demand assumes this authority but that is not necessarily an absolute.  Imagine that you have the authority when you hear or see a demand to convert that language structure to a request.  Can you see how that would level the playing field?  Of course, there are always consequences to action—both with response to demands as well as requests.  But if you are making the choice you can apply your wisdom to pick an option to minimize those consequences.  That option is not available with a demand.  In a world without an absolute, a world with some form of free will, you may always alter the perception of a demand to a request in your internal dialog and act accordingly.  Most folks report that exercising this simple technique increases their sense of personal power and reduces the number of demands normally leveled on them in the past.   

As an added incentive there is a phenomenon called “death picture” that is an imagined image of a worst case scenario for a consequence that is not defined or clear from a demand.  This affects young minds and regular folks under stress (bank robbery, plane crash, earthquake, etc,).  I have treated a lot of folks over the years for fear from this type of illusion and it is not easy to break this bond.  We humans are naturally programmed to consider negative outcomes more than positive.

But the cultural mandates are a demand, unconscious and very persuasive.  Even though our conscious actions may have generated these levels of change, the nature of its influence is that of a demand to change and not a request to consider a change.  In the past these changes occurred over many years, unnoticed by most except for occasional comments like “the young folks today”, etc.  The nature of complexity, constantly adding more elements each epoch, builds both increasing options to attend in decision-making and faster turnaround time for the epochs.  The intensity of today’s situation may not be passively ignored.  These frequently called memes are a special case for demands.  Robert Kegan, in his book The Evolving Self, termed these mandates “evolutionary truces.”  They, by design, offer options that we have not yet developed the cogitation to support or define.  As a truce, they are an offer to consider a change in how we would normally operate while we develop understanding  for the value or wisdom hidden within.  Remember, humans tend to weigh negative outcomes more than positive and our inductive reasoning or intuition is always on and usually focused on familiar—action learned from our past and not alert to new unknown scenarios.  To anchor into past and polarize with old outdated concepts is resistance to evolution.  This action produces violence and disconnects what we witness in our news today.  I invite you to be conscious, get present now and attend to the decisions you are being guided to make.  The human race is in a state of change.  Wise to be part of the solution and not the problem.  Being an object, a “thing” from the past, will increase entropy.  Wise to attend to change!


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